The Parliament of House is in session.

Given I'm now properly trying to turn this into a novel this might be the last I post of this (like you're bothered). With "Now..." or whatever it becomes, I'm going to try to make it a series of short episodes written in a pseudo-dramatic style, i.e. with no internal monologue and the minimum direct author intervention. Anyhoo, let's see how this turns out... Also, yes, it's meant to be silly.

"We have to face facts, the Spirit of Fascism has moved..."

"We don't know that" said a Dissenting Voice, "we don't know anything at this at this moment in time and what we do know doesn't make much sense. 

The Original Speaker tried to respond. "It doesn't..." But:

"I mean, why a physics lecture...?"

"It's doesn't have to..."

"Just kids that..." the Dissenting Voice was exasperated. The Chair held up a hand to say enough. The Original Speaker resumed:

"It's doesn't have to make sense, Dave..." He realised his mistake instant. "Sorry..."

The Dissenting Voice sighed. "It's too late now I suppose" he said and shrugged, irritation. His name was Dave, everyone present knew but but his codename was Wrecked Train. 

"We're all friends here..." said another delegate, AKA The One Man Crowd, "comrades..."

"We don't know that" said the Chair, the Disco Bison, stern as a mid-week comedown. He was the oldest and most experienced of the group. He spoke slowly and surely. "There are many, we can be sure, who would like to infiltrate our organisation, and not just the Fuzz." Silence reigned across the table for a moment. The Disco Bison nodded to the Original Speaker, known to the group as The Sheriff, to continue.

"We have to up our game" said The Sheriff.

"Really?" said a woman known as Many Tentacles. She was the long-standing Promotions and Intelligence delegate, practically the Disco Bison's second in command.

"Enough!" barked the Disco Bison. It was quite a harsh comedown. The office-warehouse reverberated. "Go through the chair" he said to everyone. "We're not here to barney."

"Sometimes" said the Sheriff, resuming, a little bashful, "you have to state the obvious to start with." The One Man Crowd nodded ostentatiously to this. He was seconding the Sheriff's motion. "The Spirit is on the move" said the Sheriff. "Look at the reaction to this attack in the press or on the streets. We've been expecting something like this for months" he said, looking directly at the Wrecked Train, then around the room. "Now it has finally come... what...? Nine people are dead, like you say 'kids.' What's been the reaction? Shrug the shoulders, it's so sad but can't be helped. That's the public response anyway" he shrugged. "Behind closed doors" the Sheriff glanced around meaningfully, "you can bet someone authorised this, someone in power had to" he could sense he was losing the room at this. "I can't prove it, no one can but we must assume it, even if we're wrong. This is big!"

"Are the police involved or have the DoM been brought in?" the Disco Bison asked.

"Sources suggest" said the Many Tentacles, "though I've yet to speak directly to my chief contact I'm pretty sure DCI Lightfoot is on the case." There were sighs and frowns across the table.

"Well" the Sheriff shrugged, "maybe the state has been caught on the hop but that's all the more reason for us to take the fight. If we don't move now we could find the ground disappearing beneath our feet."

"You have a plan I take it?" said the Wrecked Train.

"Of course" said the Sheriff, seemingly no longer embarrassed. He handed out sheets of A4 holdings lists, maps and schematics.

"These are not the full details I take it?" said the Disco Bison.

"Of course not" said the Sheriff. "With your permission though I will take this forward to Ops and Acquisitions to take forward." He ploughed on before any of the delegate could object. "The Parliament of House has been underground for too long. We need to take a space, publicly, a high-profile space that cannot be ignored, there's a non-definitive list of potential targets included but, uh... the point is we need to take a space and hold it for as long as we can. If the Spirit of Fascism wants to take this city we have to take it first. Sure it's going to take a lot, we're going to be calling in all sorts of favours but... if not now... when?"

Now... continued

"How do we know time exists?" asked Professor Kimber. No response. "What is time?" He'd have to explain. "Time is the progress of entropy." He looked away. Wasn't the Alt-Right supposed to be cleverer than this? Professor Kimber paced a little. "You can know time is passing without a clock, without any visual reference at all." He stopped, turned and looked at his subject. "We exist..." he corrected himself, "we have been forced to exist in an impure universe, a motive universe..." His pedagogical instinct kicked in. Professor Kimber dragged a flip-chart across the room and took up a pen. "We are moving from a point of pure, concentrated energy..." He illustrated this with a pristine asterisk. He drew an arrow left to right, "to a point of absolute, undifferentiated, dispersed matter." He showed this using a scatter of infidel dots.

"But" said the Young Man tied to the chair in Kimber's padded laboratory, "if the original state was pure how could it degenerate?"

This was something. "A good question" said Kimber. He put the pen away and started pacing again. "This is why..."

"I mean" the Young Man continued, smiling "don't pictures of the young universe show fluctuations in in background radiation?"

He was smart, this boy, bright, if a little placid. It was almost a shame, Kimber thought, that they sent him along. Still, you needed an Avatar to contact the Spirit. "This is why" said Kimber, "we are at war with the Quantum Marxists and other celebrants of the mongrel reality. This universe is ruled by probability, change and motion. There is no frame of reference. This underpins the dialectic, the source of their heinous theories of tolerance and progress..." the words seeped out of his mouth like acid. Kimber fetched a device, a silver helmet decorated with symbols and with cables and lights protruding. "Our movement will prevail" he said. "We will halt the march of time and entropy, that is why we do what we do" he said, putting the helmet on the Young man's head. "Quantity shall no longer become quality and we shall be titans..." he adjusted a set of dials on a console, halfway across the room. He looked back at the Young Man who seemed suddenly afraid. "Our powers will be unlimited." Kimber smiled a saggy old leer.

The Young Man asked plaintively, "will it hurt?" There was a short pause.

"Your sacrifice will be noted" said Kimber. He flipped the master-switch before the Young Man could say anything else. The Spirit was invoked.

The North is Endless

This is something much more likely to see the light of day than "Now." It's a found account story, partly inspired by a spellcheck slip, "the north is endless," and partly by creating wanting to create a polar-opposite of At the Mountains of Madness. This is part one. You probably won't get other bits.

Preliminary note

The following is a transcript of a recording discovered in [Redacted] University Audio Library. The recording was made using a 1980s-standard Dictaphone.

Day One

Voice: Boarded the plane... waiting to take off... this is the audio log of Staff Sargeant Crane of the 821st Air Base Group, Thule, Greenland. I am... [inaudible] I'm recording an entry... It's a lovely day, April 23rd... 10:10am and the sun is shining... I'm accompanied by Airman Danforth... [inaudible] Sorry! Senior Airman Danforth...

Laughter.

Danforth: Hi.

Crane: Only temporarily demoted, He will be our pilot. Co-pilot is Airman Dyer… Who is not speaking… also Flight Engineer Rasmussen of the Danish Royal Airforce...

Rasmussen: Hello.

Crane: And Doctor Ross, accompanying us from the National Weather Service... 

Ross: That's me.

Crane:  I am Commanding Officer of the Search and Rescue team leading an expedition from the Thule base to locate and if needs be contain a reported anomaly several hundred miles into the interior of the mainland, the details of which are still being established but the essentials are 1) intermittent but frequent radio signals of unknown origins accompanied by 2) less frequent bursts of radiation, visible in the night sky from 23:19 hours yesterday as flashes on the horizon. Prior to this expedition two satellite passes were unable to locate and engage the source of the anomaly, detailed briefing is to follow. We are proceeding in a Cessna light aircraft with 20 days of food and supplies and around 200 hours of fuel. I do not anticipate being on the ice-field for that long.

...

Crane: We are approximately ten minutes into our flight. Thule Base is receding... Up in front is the ice-field. There is about three and a half hours of daylight left... This is... This is a truly vast country... The far north... You can only really appreciate how... endless it seems... the sense of it from the air... Broken only by occasional hills… Every time I see the uplands... All is well. We will begin triangulating the signal shortly.

...

Crane: It’s now approximately fifty-five minutes after take-off and we are making great progress. We are currently receiving the anomalous radio signals loud... if not clear. You might be able to [a mixture of static, tonal sounds and voices] How soon did we begin receiving?

Ross: Almost immediately. The signal has been more or less consistent.

Crane: What about the radiation?

Ross: Nothing much really, it's all, uh... oh, there's a spike.

Crane: Is it dangerous?

Ross: It's hard to tell at this range. We are still several hundred miles away, bearing east-northeast. 

...

Ross: Here, listen...

Metallic grinding and animal sounds, akin to roaring.

...

Crane: End of day one, almost. 18:25pm. We have made camp; about to report to base... The, uh, location of the anomaly has been narrowed down to a twenty mile radius. We expect to... It's odd that the intercept planes were not able to locate... whatever this is. I suppose it will all come out in the briefing... This is not our usual mission… I'm looking at the eastern horizon. There are flashes in the long twilight, maybe one every few minutes... They're not regular. They come in several colours. We have seen white, red, green and indigo. Wind is gusting considerably, short blasts from the uplands. It is unclear whether this is connected to the emissions… Rasmussen is here.

Rasmussen: Lucas.

Crane: What?

Rasmussen: Please, call me Lucas.

Crane: Ok, um, so, Lucas, why’re you here?

Rasmussen: I volunteered.

Crane: But, [inaudible] motive-wise…?

Rasmussen: I’m sorry I don’t…?

Crane: What prompted [inaudible due to wind] volunteer?

Rasmussen: Curiosity, I guess; that and the pay. I work at the base [inaudible] civilian engineer. If all goes well…

Prolonged gusts of wind hit. Mostly inaudible except for occasional fragments, e.g. ‘get inside’ or ‘secure the tents.’

…

Voice: Unknown flying object was spotted 22:55 hours, altitude approximately 2,000 metres, bearing east-northeast a controlled arc at an estimated speed of 440mph. Command Control attempted to contact the object but was unsuccessful. The object disappeared after seventeen seconds. At 23:10 Command Control began receiving a radio signal on standard USAF distress frequency. Signal was largely unclear but some variety of English. No American or Allied craft is known to be lost. Russians currently deny any involvement. Unable to pinpoint location via satellite pass. Intermittent radiation bursts began at 23:19, high-energy, electromagnetic radiation, largely directed upwards. Bursts continue to be detected. Please repeat: over.

Crane repeats message.

…

Crane: [Whispering – wind noises in background] Early morning now, let’s see, 3.19am. Gusts of wind have been intermittent but frequent. Thank goodness for the snow-wall we built. It’s difficult to get much sleep though the others seem to be… Keep trying. The sound has an unusual quality, akin to howling.

Now - another excerpt

I'm going to have to try again to get my politics/crime/urban fantasy ideas wrapped into a full story. I've tried twice. The last time failed mostly because the lead character was undeveloped. I need a proper story arc but I'm slowly getting towards a decent lead, Detective Yara Lightfoot, see below. I picture her as a charming cynic, actually a nihilist with a hidden idealism that makes her an unusual police officer. This side should come to the fore as the story develops. Maybe I'll work on her and the character will provide the plot. Meanwhile, I've definitely got plans for Little Frank.

DCI Yara Lightfoot strode into her office. "What have you got for me?" she asked. "What crazy crap has the world dropped for us today?"

"Let's see" said Little Frank, who had been waiting for her, ready, at his desk. He brought up some cases on his computer. "We've got a dead cult leader..." he peered at the screen, "Martin Ranfurly-Smythe, funny name, an actor in real life apparently."

DCI Lightfoot smiled at this. She sat in her chair at her desk, leaned back and listened. "And...?"

"He led the First Order of Odobena" said Little Frank.

"What's that...?"

"Walrus worshipers" said Little Frank.

"Really...?"

"You can worship anything you like" he added. 

DCI Lightfoot wasn't impressed it seemed. She fetched a box out from under her desk, eventually asking "what did he die of? It must be suspicious, violent, something like that..."

"Broken neck" said Little Frank, "fractured skull, a few ribs... They found him like that in Old St Pancras churchyard."

"What was he doing there?"

"Well" said Little Frank, "according to this, word has it, Lord Hufflepuff and his followers were trying to revive the walrus that was buried there."

"Buried there...?"

"Yeah, some time in the 1820s" said Little Frank, "though it was dug up in 2003."

"OK" said Yara, cautiously. She started nibbling on a doughnut. 

"But, anyway, despite this obvious difficulty, according to SAMCS sources they succeeded."

"Ah..."

"And the walrus killed Wotshisface..."

"A bit ungrateful" DCI Lightfoot grinned. "Doughnut...?" she offered.

"No thanks" said Little Frank. "Anyway, the walrus is now at large, somewhere in London."

"Or someone's got an angry magic walrus" added DCI Lightfoot. "Interesting, but until we find this magic walrus it sounds more like a cult-squad job and what would we charge anyone with?" Little Frank shrugged. "What else is there?" Lightfoot asked. "What about the parakeet situation?"

"All quiet on that front" said Little Frank. He looked a little crestfallen. "The gangs are sticking to the postcodes, respecting the truce." There was a pause, guilty sounding silence then Little Frank added, "there is one other thing."

"What...?"

"The shooting" said Little Frank, "the university shooting..."

"Why...?" DCI Lightfoot seemed shocked. She sat forward in her chair.

"The Regulars have been in touch already" said Little Frank. "They're preparing to hand it over as we speak. The thing is..."

"What?"

"The police on the scene got the footage back, the CCTV footage and... well. The shooter wasn't carrying anything. Eyewitnesses said he had an assault rifle but the footage disagrees. Then a man came in..."

"A man...?"

"A man, unarmed, halfway through the massacre. He goes up to the killer, says something to him and the killer shoots himself... with nothing and the guy just... leaves..."

"He shoots himself...?"

"With nothing" Little Frank confirmed, "just his empty hands."

DCI Lightfoot sat back again, finished her doughnut, and after a moment's silence, exclaimed, "brilliant! Let's do it!"

"Now..." an excerpt

It was over in... minutes. The only reason I know was I looked at the clock at the back of the hall at the beginning and at the end. It's stuck in my mind: 10.33 at the start.

The lecture was started, under way. I was awake, but I could see a few were dropping off. It had been a large one the night before. Other people I know, friends skipped class. They were lucky.

The door at the back clacked shut, closed, a few of us turned to look; that's when I got that glimpse of the clock, at the back of the room. It was Jimmy who was late. The lecturer, Mr Hendrick stopped, he stopped speaking, I think. We all knew Jimmy. He was top of the group. It was a bit of a surprise to see him late, but still. He said something like:

“Don't mind me.”

And Mr Hendrick got back on with the class. It was all fine. Thinking about it now I can remember hearing this clicking and clacking behind my head, which was Jimmy... setting up. I, uh... I, like, didn't give it a thought though, why would you? Like, seconds later I saw Mr Hendrick stop. He looked up and said:

“Jimmy?”

And then there was these two zaps, real quick. First his chest, then his head blew open. It seemed to be happening in slow motion. It wasn't real, it was... astonishing. I'll never forget it.

I turned in this slow arc. I could see Jimmy with this gun, this huge gun in his hands and an incredible, inflamed look on his face. Then he just started letting off rounds, everywhere. I crouched down as low as I could. I don't know how any of it missed me. There were bits of wood and metal and glass flying everywhere.

After a few seconds there was a pause. I could see Jimmy through a gap in one of the seats. There was a few dozen people in the room, across different rows. Jimmy started looking along the rows, methodically, for survivors. He found one woman, zap, dead, he finished her off. There was not much screaming or crying, I remember, I don't know why. It was very strange.

This happened a few times. It was so quiet and methodical and slow. A couple of people bolted. They must have been trying to get to the front door. Jimmy cut them down. Calm. They didn't stand a chance. One guy used the distraction. He leapt up and tried to wrest Jimmy's gun away, grab it, take it away. He almost managed it too. Guthrie, yes, that was his name^. I knew him a bit, see. They sort of wrestled. Then Guthrie got shot in the chest. He fell like a doll.

I figured we were all dead. I sort of thought it without thinking, if you know what I mean…? Unless... I saw... I was down the front of the room. There was a fire exit not far from the lecturn. I tried creeping toward it, the exit, while this all was going on. I got to the point where I had to make a run for it because there was a gap, the last five or so metres and I almost got to the door when I felt this pop, this bursting sensation in my right knee and just collapsed. It was like my legs had disappeared.

I was on my front. I couldn't get up but I could see Jimmy approaching out the corner of my eye. I don't know how I felt. It was all so strange, so slow. My heart was going, blood pounding. My head, I couldn't think. I had no thoughts anymore. Then there was this click. I closed my eyes... But then I heard this voice. It was a man's voice, coming from the back of the room. He said:

“That'll do Jimmy.”

I couldn't see. I felt like I was going to black out. Then Jimmy said, “I understand.”

Then there was another zap. I was still alive, but when I turned round Johnny was dead: 10.36 at the end. Then the pain hit and I blacked out.

[note: the picture is from here.]

Work in Progress

July 10th - 16:29pm.

Interview, Christine Hyatt-Khan, Deputy Head of Compliance Unit for the Guild of Magicians and Psychic Practitioners, GMPP Headquarters, Euston.

Audio transcript

Containment Agent Lightfoot: Thank you for having us.

Christine Hyatt-Khan: Not at all, we always try to cooperate with the DoM. How may I be of assistance?

CAL: I, we are conducting an investigation into two robberies, bank robberies, rather unusual ones that...

CHK: I think I've heard about these, one was in Hackney and the other was in Ealing.

Detective Inspector Baptiste: In Shepherd's Bush, actually.

CHK: Yes, of course.

DIB: How did you come to know about these?

CHK: My word, is there a D-Notice out? I never...

CAL: Please...

CHK: I'm sorry, I... I'm sure you understand that you're not the only ones out there with ears to the ground. I help run the Order's Compliance Unit...

CAL: [Interrupting] Expel anyone recently?

CHK: Oh, we do it all the time. What would be the point of having a secret order if you didn't throw people out on a regular basis? [DIB laughs] Your assistant gets it.

CAL: Partner.

CHK: I'm sorry?

CAL: Partner; we're working together on the case.

CHK: Wonderful [claps hands] anyway, I jest. There have been a few cases recently that I and my colleagues have had to deal with but nothing I think that could be related to this. All details are confidential of course.

CAL: You say 'of course' but confidential doesn't get us very far.

CHK: Maybe not...

CAL: [Continuing] But, of course, we have the power to make it not confidential, if you know what I mean.

CHK: I certainly do. [Sighs] Like I say, we always try to cooperate with the DoM...

CAL: But...?

CHK: For every quid there's a pro quo and vice versa.

DIB: You mean, what's in it for you?

CHK: For me? No. I am but a humble servant of the order.

CAL: I can't promise anything.

CHK: You can promise anything, whether you deliver is another matter. I might remind the Department of Metaphysics that the Guild of Magicians and Psychic Practitioners has delivered over four decades of industrial peace, [pause] well, relative peace.

CAL: I'm not a negotiator. What does the order want?

CHK: The Witch Factory.

CAL: I see. A bit ambitious that?

CHK: We have the members, we just don't have the recognition.

CAL: I can't make the Department intervene.

CHK: You can pass the message to your superiors.

CAL: And in return...?

CHK: Very well. I know the details of the robberies but I must ask, what is your theory? How do you think they did it?

CAL: Portal building, travel between universes. [CHK snorts with derision] That's one of the lesser theories, though it could be true.

CHK: Why rob a bank in a different universe?

CAL: Quite, it's that or extended temporary world building.

CHK: The artificial universe.

DIB: That was your specialty, wasn't it.

CHK: Well, I...

DIB: [Continuing] You're an expert in this field.

CHK: I was but I did lots of other things as well.

DIB: But you know the essentials, what would it take to build a replica of a bank branch in order to rob the original?

CHK: Well, apart from mundane things like a copy of the staff rota and a detailed schematic of the building you would absolutely have to have two things 1) a Fix, something to harness latent energy, solar radiation, orgones, that kind of thing and 2) a Reality Anchor, something to maintain the structural integrity of the replica for the duration, not to mention allow for a route back into the universe proper.

DIB: Like an escape vehicle?

CHK: Something like that, yes! However, how many people were there in the video, members of the public I mean?

CAL: Several.

CHK: All identified; have you spoken to them?

CAL: All of them.

CHK: [Shakes head] Either they were all in on it or the robbers would have to have known, somehow, who was going to be in each branch at the exact moment the robberies took place.

CAL: I see.

CHK: Do you have pictures of the robbers?

DIB: We do.

CHK: May I have a look?

DIB: [Looks to CAL] Sure [gives pictures to CHK].

CHK: [Looking at pictures] As I suspected. These aren't people, they're avatars, see...? War, pestilence, famine and...

CAL: Bandana...

CHK: Well, that's where that particular theory falls down but I suspect these are not people but programmes. I could probably confirm it for you if you showed me the footage.

CAL: [Abruptly] No, I think that's enough to be getting on with. Thank you for your time, you've been very helpful.

CHK: We always try to cooperate with the DoM.

Work in Progress

July 9^th 2007 – 2:10pm

Offices of Walrus Inc, Tileyard Road, N7. Interview with Edward Ellis, proprietor and manager of Walrus Inc. Audio transcript

Containment Agent Lightfoot: Eddie.

Edward Ellis: Yara! What brings you here...? And with a friend.

CAL: Colleague, this is Detective Inspector Baptiste.

EE: I promise I'll have my tax return done soon. It's all above board here. I...

CAL: We're here on another matter, two things actually.

EE: OK.

CAL: DI Baptiste is seconded to an investigation of mine. Besides... self-employed tax returns are supposed to be done by January...

EE: That's good [smiles audibly].

CAL: If you please...?

DI Baptiste: Do you know of or anything about two armed robberies that took place last week in Hackney...

EE: Please, honestly, this is a respectable, licensed establishment. I wouldn't do anything that...

DIB: If you've heard anything about them at all, July second and seventh...?

EE: What would I know...?

DIB: I don't know, this looks like a bit of a no-questions-asked establishment. Perhaps...

CAL: [Interrupts] The picture...

DIB: Of course [hands EE a photograph]. This picture; do you recognise the device held by the gentleman at all?

EE: [Pause] Hard to say from that. This picture, yeah, it's from the robbery?

CAL: A still from a video recording. It was used, we think, to remotely unlock a safe.

EE: But...?

CAL: It's not a jamming device. We think it might be a calculator of some kind. [EE laughs softly] Well, it can't be a jammer because.

EE: Because it only took out the safe, every other device was left unharmed.

DIB: That's what we thought.

EE: It's not impossible to do direct electronic jamming but it's difficult and [looks at photo again] whatever this fella's got, it's not going to do that. [Pause] There's more, I take it...?

CAL: There is...

EE: I mean, this is almost borderline; why is the DoM taking an interest in bank robbery?

DIB: None of the events caught on camera actually happened in real life.

EE: Ah! Well, if I may say so, I think that's what you need to be getting on with there [hands back picture to CAL].

DIB: But the events were real. They happened. The financial losses occurring actually occurred and we want to know how. This device unlocked a fully protected safe in less than thirty seconds. How many combinations can you get from an electronic lock.

EE: Well, you should know, that depends on the lock but, technically speaking, it's infinite.

DIB: What about ten figures, how many variations on that?

EE: That's easy, ten to the power of nine, or one billion... That's if you just use numbers. If you throw in letter or symbols it goes up much higher.

CAL: This safe had a twenty-three digit combination.

EE: And there's that number again.

CAL: Indeed... But what kind of computing power would that take to solve in half a minute...? A rough guess...?

EE: You'd have to, I don't know, borrow Google's cloud farm in Ireland.

CAL: Could you do that?

EE: Could a bank robber do that? [Laughs] Don't be daft!

CAL: You have to ask daft questions sometimes. Facts are...

EE: [Finishing sentence] Surrounded by errors, I know.

CAL: What about quantum computing?

EE: A legend... mostly, especially around here. If someone's cracked quantum computing they've kept it to themselves. I mean, if you did build a quantum computer why would you use it to rob a bank. How much was taken...?

CAL: I get your point.

EE: What about Chemical Luck?

DIB: What's that?

EE: Chemical Luck, I've heard about it. Your lot have been testing strains of it up in Stanmore [CAL shrugs]. It's a quantum action molecule. It affects probabilities at a sub-atomic level, sort of slows the world down, develops a spread of simultaneous possibilities. You can be Schrodinger's Bank Robber, if you had a bit of Chemical Luck in you. It'd give you the time and the means to test twenty three to the power of twenty two combinations.

CAL: I see. Thank you for your time, Eddie. We best be pushing on.

EE: Not a problem. [Pause] What was the other thing?

CAL: Oh yes. I have a scrying ball that's playing up, getting really poor reception.

EE: They're never that reliable, I must say but... I've got a lot on this week. Bring it in first thing next Monday and I can have a look at it for you.

CAL: Cheers. Come on, let's go.

POSTSCRIPT

There is no such think as Chemical Luck. It was developed as part of a misinformation campaign after details relating to late-stage research into quantum computing was leaked from the Department of Metaphysics Research Wing in Stanmore.

Work in Progress

December 2^nd 2013 – 17:23pm

Branch Manager of [Redacted] building society, Mare Street, Hackney, reports the loss of £20,000. The London Metropolitan Police is contacted.

December 2^nd 2013 – 19:50pm

Detective and Forensic officers arrive, led by Detective Inspector Baptiste, SCD7 “Flying Squad.” A Preliminary search reveals no forced entry to the safe. Inspection of physical and digital records does not show evidence of suspicious transactions, only that there is £20,000 less than there should be in the branch. The branch is closed for the time being.

December 3^rd to December 5^th 2013

All members of staff are contacted, interviewed and fingerprinted by LM Police. None report anything other than a normal day. Financial background analysis does not show any unusual or unexplained amounts of money moved into staff member personal accounts. The branch remains closed for the time being.

December 5^th 2013

Background check with company providing secure transport does not reveal any financial discrepancy. Members of staff (driver and guard) who visited said branch to collect money were interviewed and fingerprinted by LM Police. Neither reported anything other than a normal day.

December 5^th 2013 – 17:23pm

Branch Manager of [Redacted] bank, Shepherd’s Bush Green, Hammersmith and Fulham reports the loss of £13,000. The LM Police is contacted.

December 6^th 2013 – 9:00am

Hackney building society branch reopens. Investigations begin into Shepherd’s Bush robbery begin. Two incidents are linked. Case comes under DI Dennis Baptiste.

December 6^th to December 7^th 2013

Investigation proceeds into Shepherd’s Bush robbery in similar manner with identical results.

December 6^th 2013 – 18:00pmIT technician in building society regional office reviews the previous weeks’ worth of security camera recordings at Mare Street branch. Technician contacts LM police.

December 8th – 8:45am

Footage is reviewed by DI Baptiste. LM Police contacts Department of Metaphysics. Serious and Metaphysical Crime Squad, team led by myself. Consulting capacity at this stage.

Footage of Hackney Robbery – viewed December 8^th - 19:19pm

Date: December 2^nd 2013. Time at beginning: 15:30pm

00:00sec to 00:02sec Camera 1

Four people enter building society branch. Each is male, of indeterminate age, average to tall height, athletic or well-built and wearing casual clothes and either a mask or a bandana. The men are hereafter referred to by their mask or bandana:

Skeleton (mask)

Plague doctor (mask)

Gas Mask (mask)

Red and Gold (bandana)

Note – Gas Mask arrives carrying a brief case while Red and Gold holds a bag over his shoulder.

00:02sec to 00:10sec Camera 1

Skeleton and Plague Doctor each produce small firearms, silver/grey pistols of unknown make or model. Gas Mask appears to shout orders, pointing in various directions. Skeleton and Plague Doctor proceed to subdue all members of public or staff present, forcing them to the floor. At 00:05 seconds the security screen comes down over the counter. At 00:07 seconds skeleton strikes a man in the face with the butt of his gun. Skeleton and Red and Gold continue to cover the public/staff present for the duration of the footage.

00:10sec to 00:23sec Cameras 1 and 2

Red and Gold kneels, opens his bag and takes out a set of objects which he then assembles into something resembling a mortar launcher. Staff members behind the screen take cover

00:23sec Camera 1

Red and Gold fires the mortar at the security screen. There is a small explosion.

00:24sec to 00:31sec Cameras 1 and 2

Dust and debris settle from the explosion. A harpoon has been driven into the security screen. The harpoon line is retracted, shattering the  screen. Further debris falls on some of public/staff lying on the floor.

00:32sec to 00:58sec Cameras 1 and 2

Gas Mask and Red Band Gold each produce handguns similar to or identical with the ones identified before. Red and Gold climbs over the counter, points his weapon at a staff member. Gas Mask leaps onto the counter with a single bound and kicks away some of the remains of the screen before also pointing his gun at a staff member. There were four staff members behind the screen. One is unconscious, injured or dead and does not rise. GM and R&G force the remaining staff members into a backroom, barricading the door before proceeding directly to the room containing the safe.

1min:23sec to 1min:59sec Camera 3

Gas Mask and Red and Gold enter the safe room. At 1:32 Gas Mask produces a hand-held device and he points it at the safe’s security system. At 1:57 it appears to be disabled. GM and R&G open the safe.

2min to 2min:33sec Camera 3

Gas Mask opens his briefcase. Gas Mask and Red and Gold fill the suitcase with bank notes.

2min:34sec to 2min:59sec Cameras 1, 2 and 3

Gas Mask closes the briefcase. Gas Mask and Red Bandana retreat through the building until they reach their fellow robbers. Before leaving, Plague Doctor fires two shots into the ceiling. It is not clear where the robbers go to or how they get there once they leave the building. They do not collect the harpoon

Observations and Conclusions

Observations

-  No member of staff could recall these events.

- There is no physical evidence of these events except for the footage.

- The robbers are likely real people, hence they concealed their identities.

- The robbers are likely not experience as they made two mistakes 1) not covering the members of staff locked in the backroom 2) not collecting the harpoon.

- The robbers do not consult a time piece of any kind

- Despite having and/or taking 33 seconds to fill the briefcase the robbers take exactly £20,000.

Conclusions

Identify the robbers, identify the weapons and devices, identify and recover the mortar/harpoon, recover the money.

Footage of Shepherd's Bush Robbery – viewed December 8^th - 23:23pm

The footage is precisely the same as the Hackney Robbery except in small details. Even the timing is the same. The only significant difference is in what the robbers wear to obscure their face.

Diamond Encrusted Skeleton

Venetian Ball Mask

Riot Cop

Blue and Gold Bandana

Observations and Conclusions

Does this mean the robbers have spent their money?

The action may be real but it is not realistic; in what sense has this happened?

Conclusion

Establish a basis in reality for all these events.

December 9^th - Midnight

The case is officially turned over to the Department of Metaphysics, Serious and Metaphysical Crime Squad. Investigation is led by myself, Containment Agent Yara Lightfoot, with DI Baptiste seconded from the LMP. D-notice applies with immediate effect.

In the Salon

“This is a Not-Mirror, that's it's title and it's also what it does. The Not-Mirror shows everything that's not there. Over here is an infinite video projection. It's, um, I'm not sure what that's supposed to but you can get anything. 

They both looked on.

“Rows of teeth...” He shrugged.

"What's this?" The Guest peered into a tank full of clear liquid.

"This" said the Curator, "is called 'The Imperceptible Surface.'" He circled around his guest, the Curator, dressed in entirely in black. "It's a raw, very direct piece, that..." The gallery, a sleek, sparse hall, was quiet, no visItors. This was a special viewing for a special guest.

"I mean" said the Guest, standing up, "what...?" He hesitated, swallowed then went for it, "what is it, what's inside? I can't see anything."

"The imperceptible surface" said the Curator, smiling thinly. He said "look closer.” The Guest did as he was told. "Can you see it now?"

"No..." said the Guest, still looking.

"Once you see it you'll..."

"Oh" the Guest exclaimed with satisfaction. He realised; "there it is, a..."

"Finely calibrated absence of a shark" said the Curator, equally pleased, "suspended in formaldehyde. It's ingenious" he concluded, "a homage, a subversion and an anomaly, a fully realised cultural node... You like it?”

"I do. It's... fascinating..." said the Guest, standing up again. He scratched at his tweed jacket.

"Here at Marshall, Carter and Dark we only exhibit the very finest pieces" said the Curator. They were, they were everywhere in this gallery. The Guest looked around in awe.

"How do they do it?"

"The artists? Well" said the Curator, "I could tell you..."

"But..."

"But I won't" said the Curator, shaking his head. The Guest looked crestfallen. The Curator quickly patted him on the shoulder. "Trade secrets, Lord Massow, you know how it is?" He smiled. "There's a reason why this salon is exclusive."

"You're right" Lord Massow agreed, nodding.

"Let me show you something else" said the Curator. "Followed me." He ushered Lord Massow along. "That last piece has a price of one hundred thousand pounds. This on the other hand, well, can you guess what this is worth...?"

"It's..." Lord Massow straightened his cap and mock-squinted, "it's lots of money pinned to a cork-board."

"One million pounds" said the Curator "in fifty pound notes, pinned to a cork-board, yes, but we are letting it go for half a million."

"So whoever buys it will double their money in an instant?"

"Whoever buys it and dismantles it will double their money in an instant. But..."

"There's always a 'but...'" Lord Massow smiled.

"But" said the Curator, smiling back "we know for a fact that the market value is due to increase fifty percent year on year for the next four years. In four years time this will be worth over two and a half million pounds."

"Really?" Lord Massow shrugged. He shook his head."Come on, how is that possible?"

"I told you" said the Curator, "we don't reveal our artists secrets."

"But who are your artists?"

"We cannot say" the Curator insisted.

Lord Massow took a moment to think. "This is the only ab-art gallery in London?"

"The only one in the world" said the Curator.

"And you have no competitors?" said Lord Massow.

“We cannot be rivaled.”

"Your prices then depend on whether you can drum up demand” Lord Massow surmised. “You cannot drum up demand for something like this without explaining how it works. Who's going to buy it otherwise?"

"Someone who wants to double their money in an instant" said the Curator, deadpan.

"But who wants to double their money when they can quintuple it? Why even mention the second option? Why tempt me?" The Curator seemed to think about Lord Massow's point. "I mean, is this even anomalous?" Lord Massow added.

"You're a smart man" said the Curator, nodding, “a man of clear taste... If you follow me though I will explain further." The pair went through a nearby door and into another room. "That last piece was called the Einstein-Rosen Investment. It was developed by a man by a man called Nico Temp de Boucle."

"I've not heard of him" said Lord Massow.

“Indeed not" said the Curator, ignoring his guest. "It's very simple though, the piece. It works because he made it in four years time." They stopped in the new room, empty and white. 

"In four... you mean in the future?”

"That's right" said the Curator, "which is good for us because we don't have to pay him yet, though it does mean we have to look after him carefully... but I digress. If you'd please wait here I'll get him for you.” The Curator scuttled back through the door, still looking at Lord Massow. “Won't be a moment...” Lord Massow stood alone for a moment, now boggled but amused. He shook his head and looked around the room again, the new room, empty and white and: “hello, Sir, my name is Nico Temp de Boucle.” It was the Curator again.

“Wait, are you, are you this, this... who are you?” Lord Massow stuttered.

“I told you, Sir, my name is Nico Temp de Boucle” said the Curator. “I understand you have an interest in art.” He approached Lord Massow.

“What is going on here?”

“It's very simple, Sir” he said. “You like my art?” The Curator gestured around him as if to say 'here it is.'

“What art?” said Lord Massow, jaw dropping. “What's going on?”

“This piece...” The Curator clicked his fingers and the walls raised up, the ceiling flew away, “I call the Art of Disappearance” the light faded around them, “the Art of Infinity” and the pair of them were drifting in outer space.

Pictures from here and here.