Exterior: a leafy, suburban street. A middle-aged man, clean-shaven, well-dressed and conventionally handsome and appears in half-body shot. He looks into the camera.
Man: [In crisp, confident Transatlantic RP] There has never been a better time to rent your property out. Supply is down and demand is on the up and will be for the foreseeable future [He approaches the camera - stops - a head and shoulders shot] but the future is not always certain [frowns].
Interior: Man is standing in an anonymously busy office, half-body shot. Everyone else in the office is seated at a computer terminal.
Man: [Walks through the office making sympathetic hand gestures] As an entrepreneur and smart investor you know you have to stay one step ahead of the market. We at Marshall, Carter and Dark understand this [stops]. And that is why we have come up with a radical new solution to the problems landlords face.
Interior: Man walks along an narrow, empty corridor, full-body shot, towards the camera.
Man: [Holds out arms] There is only so much space to go around, [relaxes] what with [in a wry tone] health and safety laws, there have always been limitations to how you can utilise your property and enhance revenue streams. [Stops] Until now...
Man: [Voiceover] Abartists have been delighting us with their ability to conjure dimensionally anomalous art works. But...
using new Eleven-Dimensional Abspace Expansion Technology...
and grey market fissile material...
we can now take this process out of the gallery and into the real world.
Montage of various dwellings and structures.
Man: [Voiceover] Our engineers took this two-bedroom end of terrace property in Oldham and added eight further rooms, two bedrooms, a master suite, a drawing room, office, coelacanth tank, dungeon and granny annex, all without affecting structural integrity and with minimal loss of life.
We acquired this four-bedroom detached house in Southampton and installeda fifty-bunk barracks, a fully-equipped armoury and concealable helipad without expanding regular floor space or increasing council-tax bills. But there's more.
Last year we recovered this abandoned aviary in Newcastle-Upon Tyne. It now includes a formula one racetrack and indoor ski centre, all built in less than THREE MONTHS
Return to man standing in corridor.
Man: Space, it used to be the final frontier. Not anymore... Here at Marshall, Carter and Dark we want to help you [points at camera] shake society down for all it's got. Purchase now and we will throw in a free apprentice or work-placement peon of your choice to do with whatever you like [smiles knowingly].
Man: [Voiceover] Offer ends 2020, terms and conditions apply. Marshall, Carter and Dark: because landlords run this show.